Merry Christmas, Jew

You slung your brown messenger bag over your shoulder and closed your eyes, ready to leave this place, only to return again tomorrow. You sighed and thought ‘so ends another exciting day at South Park High...’ You were lost in your thoughts for a moment until you heard your name being called “Kyle!” ‘What the-?’ You looked behind you to see your best friend, Stan Marsh, running like a maniac “Hey, Kyle!” He yelled, panting. He stopped short, right in front of you, attempting to catch his breath. “Dude…” He finally gasped, as you turned to face him fully”  “Happy Chanukah!” He thrust a gift towards you. It was wrapped carefully and even had a bow on top. Putting that much care into something was a little rare for Stan. You stared at him for a moment, utterly confused. You blinked once before accepting the gift.
“Wow.” You admired the effort he had put into this. “T-thanks”, you said, after a moment, still feeling stunned. “…But, um…the calendar says it doesn’t start ‘til tomorrow.” How could Stan possibly know that Chanukah started tonight? He was never one for knowing about Jewish culture.
“Yeah, but that one time, you said…” His blue eyes sparkled as he began, recalling a memory long past.
-FLASHBACK! -
“Dude, Kyle, c’mon!” Stan said, waving the bag of orange snacks in front of Kyle’s face. “You said that this year you’re a basmizerwhatever-“
“Bar Mitzvah.” Kyle corrected
“Yeah,” Stan replied, shaking his head, “and you have to not eat on Yum Keep-”
“Yom Kippur” Kyle inserted, getting a little frustrated at Stan’s failed attempts to keep up with his religious holidays, even though he was trying.
“So you should fill up now, ya know? So you don’t get hungry again as quick.” He held up the bag of Cheesy Poofs as a pittance and an offering of his care for Kyle.
“Already did.” Kyle began, watching his friend’s hopeful and thoughtful face fall “And I’m already fasting.”
“But-” Stan protested, not fully understanding why Kyle had already started fasting.
“On the Jewish calendar, days start at sundown.” Kyle tried to explain gently to his befuddled friend.
-END FLASHBACK!-

“So, I figured, like, sundown tonight…” Stan continued, having finally filled you in on how he remembered that Jewish holidays start at sundown. He ruffled his hair and looked away, trying to hide his embarrassment that he had obviously taken to heart what you said, so long ago. You simply stared at him for a moment ‘After all this time?’ You thought.
“Dude…that was like THREE years ago!” You said, looking into his deep blue eyes as they filled with shock, realizing that he had indeed been found out. There was a long, awkward pause as you looked at him and he struggled to cover his slip-up. For a moment, you thought he would faint, then, finally, he spoke:
“So?”
“You don’t remember what a teacher said, five minutes later!” You pointed out
“I don’t listen to them.” He replied, matter-of-factly
“Or what topic we’re on in Biology!”
“Mitosis,” He called your bluff, “You told me last night.”
“Or what Wendy and Bebe told you this morning!” ‘Wow, I’m really making him sound like a moron.’ You thought, feeling a little guilty.
“I only remember things that you tell me.” He said, ending the argument, “I only care about what you’ve got to say!”
“But-” You began again, still not grasping the words that had just hit you.
“Oh, Shit, I have to go. I’m late for football practice.” Stan said, looking at his watch. “Later, dude!” He called, racing off to practice, “And remember; you can’t open it ‘til sunset!”
You walked off, with your gift in tow. Thoughts raced through your head ‘Why is Stan acting so weird today? Strike that, weirder than normal…and what’s the hurry? Days are shorter in the winter. It’s not like the sun won’t be down in another five minutes. He could have easily stayed and not been late.’ You thought, wearily, ‘I wonder…What’s he trying to pull? “I’m late for football.”…Yeah. Bullshit. I wear a watch. And I’ve seen him off to practice often enough to know when it starts…’ You walked along, running your hand over the chain-link fence, listening to the metal clang and reverberate as your fingers flowed over the little steel diamonds. ‘…and that today he doesn’t have to be there…’ You paused, calculating, ‘…for another TEN minutes. So what gives?’ You knew Stan had to be lying, but why? You looked cautiously to the gift tucked under your right arm. ‘Maybe it’s something cheesy…or some kind of practical joke.’ You lifted it up, examining and scrutinizing the box, trying to decipher what could be inside. If it was a stupid prank… “I’ll kick his ass.” You said aloud, to yourself.
He had made you promise you wouldn’t open his present until sunset. You looked towards the West, over the Rocky Mountains as the yellow-orange ball sank lazily behind them, casting off dying clouds of pink and violet. Sunset. You started to pull at the ribbon and bow at the top, muttering to yourself. “This had better not piss me off.” You looked deep inside the large, square box and found a small piece of glass. You lifted it up and looked at it. “A hand mirror?” you questioned yourself “The hell is this supposed to mean?” You tilted it up and down as it showed your freckled face. You leaned the angle more and found that you were not alone. Stan’s reflection was smirking at you. For a moment, you thought you were hallucinating. You had just been thinking about him non-stop, like every other moment of your life. “Hey…” You were still a little stunned, and surprised to find that Stan was indeed behind you as you turned around. “How did you get…” Stan was walking towards you, getting unreasonably close. Not that you hated that little fact, you just didn’t expect it. You loved Stan but you never thought any of his glances returned your affection. “…back…” You tried to concentrate and finish your sentence, but you could feel his breath on your skin. Your heart raced as he took your hand “…there?” He closed his eyes and leaned in, pressing his lips against yours. You couldn’t breathe, you couldn’t think. Your eyes just grew wide as he kissed you and entwined his fingers with yours. He pulled back, just a little, grinning.
“Happy Chanukah, Kyle.”